All By Myself
by suckerforvauseman
Summary: Alex and Piper and a terrible thing. Not for sensitive readers.


They had been through so much together, Piper thought, as she watched her girlfriend getting dressed. As she lay with her one arm propping her up, still in a bit of a sleepy haze, she looked over at Alex and thought about how lucky she was. How lucky they both were.

It could have been endgame all those months ago. And that had made both of them realise just how important they were to each other. Alex and Piper were as destructive as they come, but they were perfect for one another.

It felt like they had lived an eternity since then. And, well, they probably had. To make up for the time spent in prison, to make up for the lost time in their relationship, and to make new memories, the kind that last a lifetime.

Piper snapped back to reality at the sound of Alex's phone ringing. Alex walked towards the window as she took the call, the sunlight streaming through the window, making her dark hair dazzle, the light bouncing off her natural waves.

 _ **I wish I could paint our love, these moments and vibrant hues – wordplay, turns into gun play, and gun play turns into pillow talk, and pillow talk turns into sweet dreams; sweet dreams turns into coffee in the morning…**_

Miguel's 'Coffee' pops into Piper's head. Her shower could wait. She needed coffee. Tossing the sheets back, Piper asks Alex if she'd like some. "Thanks babe, but I have to get to work. That was Josh on the line. He wanted to know if I could work a double-shift."

"What did you tell him," Piper asked, raising her eyebrows slightly. "I said yes," Alex replied. Fucking Josh. Alex sure knew how to pick her bosses. She still seemed to think she owed him for hiring her in the first place.

And although he knew that Alex was taken and had even met Piper, he seemed to think that flirting with Alex was fine. But it was a good job, at a relatively new joint downtown offering 'dark dining' and exotic cuisine.

And Alex was happy with it, which was the main thing. She was hired as the maître d' because her look 'went' with the whole vibe of the exclusive restaurant, according to Josh. He had never come across a woman as suave and sexy as Alex.

And he knew instantly that this was the person he wanted to oversee his restaurant, which was only open to customers after 8pm on Wednesdays through to Saturday. Alex loved meeting most of the high-profile patrons, often coming home to Piper excitedly, regaling her with stories of 'this' person she had spoken to, or 'that' literary inclination she had in common with someone of influence.

Overall, work was by no means a drag, especially when a glass of red wine was always nearby. Josh made sure Alex enjoyed what she did, because he enjoyed her. He liked having her around, watching how she interacted with guests, her dazzling smile and bright green eyes lighting up the dark-wood panelled room.

He thought to himself what a good thing it was that she was out in the front; how it would be a shame if she were part of the crew in the dining room where there were no lights. She needed to be where people could see her, and take in her unconventional beauty, her aura of mysteriousness.

Although he was quite sure that her voice would work almost just as well in the dark areas. With a voice that drew you in, a drawl that captured you, and a husky tone that cemented the deal, Alex Vause was the real deal. And as luck would have it, this vixen happened to wander into _his_ restaurant in search of a beer after her first tiring day of job-hunting, just when he was on the prowl for a person to run the front of the house.

When they were both finally out of Litchfield, Piper had made Alex promise that she wouldn't go back to dealing in drugs. And Alex, wanting to start over, and not wanting to jeopardise their safety again, decided that she would look for a proper job.

But what real job could satisfy her? Moving large amounts of heroin, travelling, and the danger of it all was what thrilled Alex, what she did best. And nothing could ever match that. No regular job. But this one came close.

There were no drugs, there was minimal travelling (she had only been upstate with Josh once to deliberate over the prospects of opening a second restaurant), but she got to meet new and interesting people almost every day, and that Alex could live with.

Alex had never felt as despondent as she had after that first full-day of searching for managerial and PR work. Every place she went to wanted experience, and she couldn't exactly say that she had loads of it, but in the drug-dealing industry. That's not what respectable folk liked to hear. Plus, she had a criminal record which made it even harder.

She was a smart girl, and she knew it, but without a degree and experience of the kind that employers wanted, she would have to settle for a job as a waitress in a bar somewhere. For now, in any case.

She would try the bars tomorrow. It was already getting dark and she was exhausted. She checked her phone. A few texts from Piper asking how it was going and when she would be home. She didn't feel like answering.

In fact, she needed a beer stat, before she went home, otherwise she was bound to take her frustration out on Piper. And she didn't feel like doing that. She was a long way from her apartment. She would start back and hail the next cab she saw to take her the rest of the way.

But, drink first. Standing on the corner of the street and looking up, she saw a number of little bistros bustling with couples and laughter. No. Not the atmosphere she was looking for right now. Alex decided to go a little further down the street.

Through the glass, Josh eyed the raven-haired woman in high-heeled boots across the street. He opened the door and stepped outside, lighting up a cigarette as he did so. He watched silently as Alex made her way past closed art galleries, and bakeries, leaning back on the glass and blowing out smoke.

She caught sight of him and stopped walking. A look of exasperation crossed her face. "Hey, do you know where the closest bar is around here?" Alex asked. "Well, it's no bar, but you're more than welcome to come have a drink in here," Josh said.

It was 18:45. He still had a whole hour before he had to open the restaurant. "Are you closing?" Alex questioned, crossing the street. "We're only open from 8," a grinning Josh responded. He loved telling people about his unique restaurant, and seeing their reaction. He stomped his cigarette out underneath his expensive-looking shoe and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Oh!?" "Yeah, this baby here is a pretty special type of fine dining. You have to be willing to give yourself up to taste, and then we push that sensation into overdrive," explained Josh, "It's kind of like food erotica." Alex was perplexed for a while, until she remembered reading something about this. It was one of those blindfold restaurants!

Over her drink, she found out that blindfolds weren't involved; Josh's restaurant just had what he called 'the darkroom.' And people went crazy over the whole idea. The restaurant was a hit from the day it opened its doors.

Sitting in a leathered booth in the corner of the front space of the restaurant, Josh listened to Alex as she spoke about her day from hell. He wasn't bad-looking, Alex thought when she had finished speaking, taking in his sandy-brown hair, inviting eyes, and black 'bow-tie with suspenders' outfit. His tan came up even more deeply against the crisp white shirt he was wearing. Josh came off as a bit cocky, but his friendly demeanour hid it well.

Jesus, Alex, pay attention. She could've sworn that the man had just asked her if she'd like a job. Wait. He was asking it again. And this time she was paying attention. "A job? What, here?" Alex's eyes lifted. "Well as long as it's up to your standards ma'am," Josh replied cocking a grin.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" The smile on Alex's face was growing bigger and bigger. "I'm serious, if you're serious," Josh said slickly, throwing both his arms up on the back of the booth and looking over at her. "So what do you think, Alex? Partners?"

"So why are you going so early?" Piper asked, bringing Alex back to the present-day. "Your shift is only supposed to start at 7, and it's 10am." She knew she was starting to sound like a nagging housewife, but she couldn't help it.

She missed her girlfriend. She had hoped that Alex would at least be home by 11 tonight. A double-shift meant that she worked until 2am. Piper could hardly stay up and wait for her when she had a single shift, let alone a double one.

And now she was finding out that Alex would be gone the whole day too. Damn Josh and his restaurant! This was almost as bad as the drug-trafficking. No, don't even go there, Piper warned herself.

"Well Josh wants to put some new things on the menu, so I'm going to go help him out," Alex was typing on her phone, not looking at Piper. "But this is your third Saturday double in a row Al." Piper couldn't help but feel let down, and somewhat jealous.

"Piper, please, it's just work!" Alex finally burst out. But she had sensed the hint of sadness and jealousy in Piper's sentence, and her tone softened, "I'll text you throughout the day and if I have time maybe we can meet for coffee later on before I start my night-time stint, ok babe?"

Her easy-to-anger temperament told Piper to storm off into the bathroom and slam the door, but instead she calmly told Alex that that sounded nice, and that she hoped her day went well. Alex gave her girlfriend a peck on the cheek and, wrapping her scarf around her neck, left the apartment.

Piper sat back down on the bed. She wasn't going to meet Alex for coffee. She'd be busy doing things of her own. Just what exactly she hadn't decided yet. Polly and Larry were out of town for the weekend, so her best friend and ex-fiancé were out of the question.

Again, Piper found herself thinking that she was mostly alone in her life. That's what being with Alex was like, she didn't have time for anyone else. And then when Alex wasn't there, it was as if she was the only person on earth.

She could either stay home and mope about, get take-outs and binge-watch a show on Netflix, or she could go out, like Alex, but alone, and shop or do something. Although it was still a wintery day, the sun was out, and it was nice enough out for a stroll.

Stroll, and then Netflix…the best of both worlds. She would stop at Whole Foods and get something to eat too. And maybe she would meet Alex later then. Piper sighed. She wasn't good at staying angry at her girlfriend for long. She almost always inevitably gave in.

And she no longer had trust-issues. She and Alex had been on the trust-issues roundabout one too many times. They were both over it. She trusted Alex's character, however flawed, and Alex trusted her. That didn't mean they didn't bump their heads and make mistakes though. Moments of weakness were both of their downfalls.

Piper brushed her teeth, picked out an outfit and, leaving her shower and coffee, got her handbag and walked out. She was walking out of the supermarket when she almost collided into a man with curly locks, most of his face hidden under a baseball cap.

He turned his body and lifted his face to apologise as he continued swiftly past her, when Piper suddenly called after him: "Tommy?" Baseball cap looked over his shoulder, realisation dawning on his face. "Piper! Gosh, it's been forever," Tommy smiled.

He came over to give her a hug, trying to manoeuver his arms awkwardly around Piper and her grocery bag. Standing back, he took off his cap to smooth down his hair and then folded his arms.

"Shit, Pipes, the last time I saw you, you were in college, huh?" Tommy said. Piper nodded, her eyes widening, still trying to think if that was the last time. Tommy had taken her virginity in high school, and they had continued a friends-with-benefits relationship into her college years.

She blushed. Yes, the last time was when she was still in college, because it had ended by the time she was done with college, just before she met Alex. Tommy, who was four years older than Piper, had grown out of his boyishly-good looks, and into some manly ones. She wished she had taken that shower. How dirty was her hair?

"You look good Pipes. If I hadn't been so absorbed in my own thoughts, I would've recognised you first," Tommy said. "What _were_ you thinking about?" Piper asked chuckling. "To be honest, I was a bit pissed off, thinking about how sad a guy's life has to be for the highlight of his day to be a shopping trip to Whole Foods!"

Alex could never really tell for sure whether Josh liked her, but she guessed that he did. She didn't know why, it wasn't as if she was going to change from being a predatory lesbian into a nice, tame straight girl for him at the snap of his fingers.

But a part of her felt good. It was a bit of an ego boost, she wasn't going to lie to herself. And she knew how to handle Josh. She had been dealing with men like him all her life. They had picked up some really good fresh produce for the chef at the morning market, and Alex felt content and relaxed as Josh drove them back to the restaurant.

Humming to the tune on the radio, she thought she'd check in with Piper to see how her morning was going. Meeting her girlfriend later was dependent on how long the experimenting in the kitchen took, but she figured she'd still make time no matter what.

There was no one around when they got back. Giorgio the chef hadn't shown up while they were out; maybe he was getting some food of his own, Alex thought. He was the chef, after all. "Looks like we have the place to ourselves for a bit," Josh said, reading off his phone, "Giorgio has a one-night stand issue to take care of, the poor guy."

"I'll just go pack this stuff away then," Alex said, motioning to the boxes of food with a raised eyebrow. Josh said nothing as he stared down at his phone screen. Then: "Thanks, baby." Baby? She watched Josh yawn and cross his legs. That was strange, he had never called her that before. He was probably just too immersed in whatever he was busy doing to notice, so she'd let it slide.

She was kneeling down, stacking the freezer when she felt a presence behind her. Standing up, she came face to face with Josh. "Jesus, Josh, what are you doing?" Alex asked, waves of uneasiness washing over her.

He was right up in her personal space, far too close for comfort. Alarm bells went off in her head. This didn't feel right at all.

"What am I doing? Hmm…good question. Perhaps I'm doing what you want me to do Alex…isn't this what you want?" He caught her wrists and, pushing her back into the freezer forcefully, started undoing the zipper of his pants.

"What the fuck!? Get the fuck off me, you fucking piece of shit!" Alex screamed, and started to hit his chest with her fists. By now he had his dick out and was grabbing ahold of her hands again to pin them down. "Scream all you want, Alex, come on baby, let's hear you scream."

Alex had to turn on her survival mode. Her mind started racing with all the possible ways to get out of this. She was almost a head taller than this fucker. She could overpower him. Her strength just needed to outweigh her fear.

He was grinding himself against her, his wiry body not providing her with much space to get a knee up and kick him in the balls. Trying to shove her disgust out of her mind, she desperately racked her brain for another way to attack him.

If he wanted her fully, he was going to have to let her wrists go to undo her pants. That was her chance. If prison had taught her one thing, it was that a blow to the neck could really do a lot of damage.

But she had to time it perfectly. And she had to be fast. This was her only opportunity. An uppercut to the neck, and if that didn't do much, a kick to the groin region. All she had to focus on then was hightailing it out of there.

God, he was slobbering all over her. She kept turning her face away from his plundering tongue. How long was this going to go on for? Why was time going so slowly? "Mmm…do you want me inside of you Alex?" he grunted, releasing some of the pressure on her wrists.

"We both know that you do…I can fuck you better than any girl can…" He let go of Alex's hands to roughly grab her breasts, still holding her in place. He was moving his hands downwards, about to shove them into her pants, when Alex found the space to lift up her knee with as much force as she could and make contact with his gorging penis.

He gave a moan similar to the sound of a dying whale, or what Alex thought a dying whale sounded like, closed his eyes tightly and bent over, resting his one hand on the door of the freezer. "Fuck!" he cried out in agony, an expression of total pain written across his face.

Alex was kicked into action, and without looking back, she ran out of the stockroom, and out through the front space of the restaurant into the open air, tears stinging her eyes, her breath coming out in short gasps as she tried to hold back the urge to sink to the ground in a heap and cry her lungs out.

No, she had to start walking. Get herself to a busy place. She needed Piper. Piper! Oh my god, how was she going to tell Piper? Still dazed, but with the cool air slowly beginning to clear her head, she remembered that she had left her bag with her phone behind at that repulsive place.

No fucking ways was she going back to get it. She wasn't going back there ever. Wait a minute, she had put her phone in her pocket after she had messaged Piper! Relief washed over her as she realised it was still there. She called Piper. No answer, it went to voicemail. She tried a second time. Again to voicemail. And Piper hadn't responded to her text, sent only an hour ago.

An hour? It seemed like a week! Alex was dangerously close to breaking down right in the middle of the sidewalk. What the fuck was Piper doing? Alex didn't feel like filling her in on the details of what had just gone down, but she was the only person Alex wanted to see, to be held by, to be told that everything would be ok.

She ordered a cab online, finding a bench to sit on while she waited. Alex felt numb. She was no longer on the verge of crying, but rather she felt disjointed now, totally out of herself, gripped with an emotion she hated the feeling of.

It was worse than when she discovered her father was a fucked-up druggie has-been rocker. It was worse than when her mother had died, and Piper had left her. It was as if a piece of her had died. She felt as though a part of her was gone, stolen by that prick Josh.

An Uber cab pulled up alongside the curb with the registration of the one she had ordered. Thank god. Luckily she didn't have to make any small-talk with the driver. The partition was up and he already knew where to take her because she had specified on the online form.

She got out of the cab into the mid-afternoon sunlight. She couldn't feel its warmth on her face. Alex made her way to the apartment she had shared with Piper since they had gotten out. Shit. Her keys. She didn't have them, they were still in her bag.

Before she could knock on the door for Piper, their neighbour Mrs. Potts came walking down the hallway. "Alex, dear, you're as white as a sheet, more so than usual. What's the matter?" "I, uh…I just left my keys behind Mrs. Potts, I'm going to call Piper now to come and open."

"Oh I don't think calling for Piper would be of any help. I saw her out and about when I was walking my little Trixie, and I don't think she's come back yet. But you know Piper being Piper always leaves a set of her keys with me, in case this ever happens to her," Mrs. Potts said, gesturing for Alex to follow her.

"Never expected to be getting them for you," she heard Mrs. Potts mumble, as she unlocked her door and went to her desk, while Alex waited in the doorway. "I do hope you are ok," she said as she handed Alex the keys, a look of concern spreading across her face.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Potts, just tired," Alex murmured, trying to smile. "Thank you for these," she added, holding up the keys. "You take care now, dear," Mrs. Potts said, closing her door. Fucking hell. Alex knew the old lady meant well, but she was in no mood for chit-chat.

Piper wasn't home, but even if she was, there would be no "Babe, I'm home!" today. She couldn't bring herself to say anything. She thought she smelled a man's cologne in the air. A faint whiff of it.

Alex thought she would be sick. That wasn't Josh's cologne on her was it? She had forgotten how he smelled, or maybe she had just pushed it to the farthest corners of her mind, but when she regained her sense and stopped reeling, she was sure that that wasn't his cologne.

Jesus, she was tired. She had not lied entirely to Mrs. Potts. Maybe she would wake up and this would all be a bad dream. She wished. There was a muffled sound coming from the bedroom. How had she not heard it when she entered?

What the hell was wrong with her? It was like all her senses were coming and going, weaving in and out of consciousness. The door to the bedroom was closed, but now she could make out definite sounds coming from behind it.

Those were Piper's moans, she knew how they sounded. Was she getting herself off alone? Usually Alex would've been instantly turned on at the mere sound of her girlfriend moaning, but today, still feeling the bile rising up to her throat every now and then, she just needed Piper to stroke her hair while she fell asleep. A fitful sleep, but some reprieve from reality nevertheless.

Alex decided to go in and cut Piper's pleasuring short. There would be so many other times, and Piper would understand. Well, Piper would be able to see from her face that something wasn't right, and she'd probably stop herself anyway.

Nothing in life could have prepared Alex for what she saw upon turning the doorknob and pushing open the door. If she thought she was going to vomit before, it was nothing compared to how she felt now. Her stomach gave a staggering heave, and her legs almost gave way beneath her, as she stared at the wall opposite her.

Ramming her girlfriend from behind while she groaned in ecstasy was some farmer-looking boy, his naked ass pummeling Piper, a look of complete and intense concentration on his face, his curly hair matted down with sweat, her mouth open wide.

Alex fell back, knocking over one of the pictures hanging on the wall in their bedroom. _Their bedroom_. There was a man fucking her girlfriend in their bedroom. And this was nothing like the situation she had just been in. Piper was actually enjoying this.

"Alex!" Piper was running over, trying to get into her clothes at the same time, terror darkening her features. Alex couldn't move. She was halfway to the floor, her hands on her legs, trying to hold herself together. She thought she might die. Jesus Christ. Piper reached her, and Alex suddenly found her voice.

"Don't you fucking touch me! Don't you dare fucking touch me!" Alex found herself screaming for the second time that day. Her eyes locked on farmer-boy, who was trying to do up his pants. "Enjoy her man, it's only a matter of time before she fucks you over too," and Alex started on out the room.

She grabbed the keys for the car they shared and used only when they absolutely had to, and her cellphone, and made her way around back to the garages. She could hear Piper's screams following her, calling her name. Alex hit the gas.


End file.
